6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
there's paper in my vomit.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
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She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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