He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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