Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize