The maid of honor just puked.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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