She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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