Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize