Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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