Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize