how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I wear drunk well.
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