There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize