my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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