She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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