i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
my liver is dry heaving
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize