I skipped work to stalk him.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize