I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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