Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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