PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize