Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
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Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So much rum. So many feels.
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We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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