Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize