I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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