If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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