Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
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Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
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I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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