Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
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We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
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We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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