and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize