I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
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Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
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I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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