Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
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my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
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I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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