the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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