One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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