Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
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