I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
you never un-have a 4some
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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