It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize