Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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