So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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