It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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