I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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