It was confusing and full of hummus
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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