he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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