In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I deserve this hangover.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize