weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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