His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
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You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
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Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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