you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
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I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
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Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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