all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize