The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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