im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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