Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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