Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
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Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
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I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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