Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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