the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
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We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
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I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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