Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
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We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
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Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize