Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
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They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
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My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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