I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize