All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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